I want to make a promise to the mountain:
Because I am so afraid
I am
And my fear feels as big as you

It’s as if it’s you sitting there
And me underneath
This deadening fear
This paralyzing stuck
When the thing I need the most 
Is the thing I’m most afraid of

And I know it’s just in my head
Echoing these made up assumptions
I know it’s not real.

But you, mountain, 
You are real
You are epic
You are breathtaking 
You are everything I see in the photos and more 

I wish I could climb you 
And I wish I could fall down you, too

The mountain asks, 
“What are you so afraid of?” 

It tries to reason with me
As if I’m being reasonable. 

It says,
“Are you more afraid of change, 
Or more afraid of staying the same?”

Only it’s not a question 
It’s a pang of truth
That echoes back to me.

I want to be like you, mountain
Big and tall
You don’t pretend to be less majestic than you are
You don’t hide away when the sun comes out
You sparkle every time the light reaches your peaks.

How do I be more like you? 
(Cause God, do I want to be more like you.) 

Help me let go
And help me hold on, to you

I envy that little red house on your cliffs
The one that doesn't need to prove anything to anybody
It’s already embedded on the coast of Big Sur
It’s already won

It doesn’t need to be some fancy house 
It doesn’t need every wall to be a window
It can just be a house 
A simple house

A house that could exist anywhere
But this house 
Is here. 
It’s special. 

I want to be that little house.
And I want to be that mountain it sits upon.

I promise 
No matter how heavy
No matter the burden 
I will remember
That you are still there.

I promise, mountain
Just like you 
Is how I will be
And I will be true 
To the mountain in me.