Letter to My Future Partner: I Don’t Want Young Love — #2
Photo by Allison Melnik Photography
You know that innocent, “I can’t live without you, you complete me” kind of love? Yea, I used to want that, but not anymore.
I want someone who knows the crushing feeling of heartbreak. Someone who has had to claw their way out from the depths of despair. Someone who has had to wonder if they’d ever not be sad again.
Maybe you relate from when you first realized that who you thought was your person, actually wasn’t. Maybe from back when you said I do and then had to reckon with all the disentangling when you realized you don’t. Maybe your side never changed, but theirs did. Or, maybe, they’re not even here anymore to have a side.
It’s those painful moments when you have to reinvent and reimagine yourself all over again–and this time, alone. And it’s not that I want you to have been in pain…well, actually…I guess I do. But not for the reasons you might think. It’s just that if you’ve somehow dodged heartbreak all this time, it means you haven’t been out on the field. I want someone who isn’t afraid to play this life thing full out. After all, we only get one chance.
I want someone who has been burned. Someone who has sat at the bottom of the barrel long enough to stare their demons in the eyes and rise up again as a phoenix.
I want someone with scars. Those are the people who take love seriously—they know there’s no time to waste. They don’t need someone; they want someone. And they don’t want someone they “can’t live without,” because they already know they can.
I want someone whose biggest fear isn’t losing their partner, but losing themself.
I respect the shit out of those people. Because they got out on the field, they got their asses kicked, and yet they choose to love again with open arms and an open heart, knowing full well the stakes. And it’s worth the risk, because as broken as they may one day be, they know they’ll be able to climb out and put themselves back together again.
Anyway, that’s me. Hope that’s you, too.