I Fell in Love (Love Letter)

I fell in love. I crashed.
Everything about her
The way her hair shines in the sun 
The way she embraces her curls and lets them be free
The way she doesn’t even try to make them ruly

I love her unreserved smile 
Her cheeks that can barely contain her face
Her inability to keep a straight face for very long 
The dimples it took her nearly 3 decades to even realize she had 
The way she can barely keep her eyes open when she laughs

I love her broad shoulders
Her arms, always ready to hold, ready to lift 
Her overextended elbows and knees that nearly bend backwards
Her legs, thick and strong, ready to move
The way she can flex her pecs and amuse herself with it each time
Her back, the way you can see all the muscles when she’s wearing a tank top in the summer
The way she laughs about how she wishes she could see it too
I love all her curves and crevices

I love how she can’t help but talk with her hands and her arms 
Her whole body 
I love the way she’s more interested in what her body can do than how it looks
But while we’re talking about it - she’s fucking gorgeous

I love how she dances even though she always used to say she couldn’t
She just has fun and is in the moment 
She doesn’t care about what she looks like 
She doesn’t dance for them 
She dances for her

I love her steadiness 
The way she never veers too far off course 
Her ability to be still even when the tides are so rough
She has a fire, a light that can’t be put out
I’m telling you, you can’t hold this one back

I love her wisdom 
Her deep breaths at all the right moments
That ‘old soul’ feel about her
Her eyes–they are so gentle A glimpse of this spirit that’s peeking out from the inside 
She looks into your eyes and makes you believe there’s something deep in there that you didn’t even know exists 

She’s pretty sensitive
A while back, she’d probably cringe to hear that word
These days, she owns it, almost with a sort of pride
She feels everything so deeply 
A part of her gets sad when she hears the couple downstairs yelling
Even though she doesn’t even know them
She cries at funerals for people she’s never met
Sadness, joy, wonder — nothing gets by her 

She knows pain 
And yet she means no harm to anyone
She’s so passionate
She makes you wonder how she’s able to see colors in her world with such vibrancy

I love the way she lights up around kids 
And the way they always seem to like her
I love the way she hugs her dog 
How she’ll stop in the middle of the sidewalk to give her pup a kiss 
The way she’ll smell the flower the dog made a point to smell, just to see what she’s missing

I love how she breathes in deep when there’s fresh ground coffee 
I love the apron she wears in the kitchen because she knows herself too well that she’ll probably stain her shirt 

I love the way she looks at the stars and the clouds 
The way she stares at the sky sometimes 
The way she’s always wondering about the world

I love the way she loves sleep 
And the way she becomes a toddler on the verge of a mental breakdown when she hasn’t had enough
And oh, the way she gets giddy when it’s time to go to bed and get under the covers each night 

I love the way she doesn’t get tired of listening to the same song over and over again 
And how she gets so excited about singing along with it each time

I love how she goes out of her way to make sure everyone feels seen and heard and respected
I love the way she can make deep connections with complete strangers in just moments
The way she looks cashiers in the eye 
And takes an extra second to thank them for being here
She’s not really good at being shallow: I love that about her 
For her, it’s deep, or nothing
She’s not good at holding in how she feels
Everyone will know

I love what a good friend she is
And how thoughtful, how considerate
How much she cares
I love how she’s forward enough to correct people who mispronounce her name, sometimes
And the way she’ll claim space and not back down when there’s something important on the line
She’s so brave 
Sometimes her voice shakes, sometimes she trembles
Yet she says what needs to be said
It’s contagious, her energy
If you’re around her you’re going to catch it 
That energy can't be dampened

I love how she doesn’t act like anything she’s not
She has this solid sense of self 
She knows who she is 

I love how she doesn’t need to prove herself to anyone 
Or convince anyone of anything 
She doesn’t need anyone to tell her who she is 
She tells them
She doesn't need someone to love her
She loves herself 
More than anyone else ever could
There’s nothing she needs to fix or control 
No one she needs to save 
But oh, let me tell you, she saved me

I love how she prioritizes things that make her feel alive
And when you see her alive, wow It’s so liberating 
You can’t help but think, I want that, too
She’s a breath of fresh air
She can’t help it 
Life is bursting out of her
She can’t hold it in if she tries

Oh my, I love the way she’s always laughing at herself with such playfulness 
I love the love that pours out from her even without her conscious permission 
Her wit and banter: she never takes herself too seriously

I love how she’s not afraid to ask a question
She’s not afraid of looking dumb 
She’ll proudly admit she doesn’t know it all
She has no qualms about asking for help 

I’m so in love with everything about her
She used to think if people really knew her, they wouldn’t be able to help but love her 
Now, she could give two fucks 
She knows she is love 
And if anyone doesn’t see it 
She has no time to waste convincing
It’s something fogging up their glasses 
And it’s not her job to clean it up

She’s so beautiful and wild and free and deep and brilliant and clumsy and reflective and emotional and strong and funny and just incredible.

I fell in love
But it wasn’t always this way 
I used to kind of hate her half smile 
I used to think her legs were too big 
Her knees and elbows overextend almost backwards—so weird looking 
And her shoulders were so broad, I used to think she looked too much like a guy
Cover it up. Hide.
I used to think there was no hope for her always biting her nails when she was nervous
I used to think her feet were too clunky, her toes not the most feminine looking 
Her cheeks were too big, they made her look like a baby
I used to not like the peach fuzz on her face or the Puerto Rican hair on her forearms 
She used to bleach it so it wouldn’t stand out 
but now 
she stands out. 

I used to hate everything about her hair
Too curly, too unruly, such a mess
Make it straight. Change it. Somehow, anyhow

I used to think she wasn’t very funny 
Because that’s what some people said 
I used to think she was even a bit dumb 
Because that’s what some others said

But oh-
She’s brilliant, really  
She makes me laugh without even trying 

She sees things so simply, so wonderfully
She listens to her body 
She thinks things through
She comes to her own conclusions 
Each day I want to learn about how she sees the world and how she sees herself in it 
With all the great things she’ll do
I’m just glad to get a front row seat to all the action

She makes me wish I could live forever 
Because there’s just not enough time we could possibly have together
There’s no one quite like her

I fell in love. With all of it. All of her.
Even as others come and go
I promise I’ll never let her go

It took me a while, but I always had this feeling:
I knew I’d seen those eyes
I knew she felt familiar
And it’s because she’s been here, waiting patiently 
It was always going to be her
Because she was always, always me. 
I fell in love.